No we don't live like leave it to beaver anymore. Marriage is important to me but he wants to just "stay together forever" without getting married? Steven Nelms just raised the bar for husbands everywhere. Yes, in a marriage, a man is supposed to financially support his wife. Things have changed a lot over the past 40 years, but financial support is a mutual thing; the man has to be willing or wanting his wife to stay home or pay all the bills while she keeps her money. A new spouse cannot be held financially responsible for the support of any offspring other than their own. Only users with topic management privileges can see it. 1. Why can't a woman support a man? Most men believe that being a good provider means supporting a family financially. So, in your case, the fact that your husband is not fulfilling your rights to be taken care of financially doesn't mean you are allowed to withhold sex from him as a form of punishment. He wants to be the payor and he pays the minimum balances on time but does not balance our bank account or do any budgeting (we go into overdraft frequently). Well technically the wife has no financial responsibilities to the husband, her children, or maintaining the household. Why guys are willing to support their wife financially? “A man should be a good provider.” We’ve all heard this phrase before; it remains common even in our modern society. A man should also contribute to the emotional, spiritual, physical and mental well-being of his family. Cassie May 26, 2015, 5:40 pm. This man is being an idiot. If he wants to continue in his lifestyle of the rich and famous and let you support him, it's time to consider what it is that you want out of a marriage...a bum who allows his woman to provide for the … 1 Reply Last reply . I work over 40 hours per week now and it blows my mind to even write that. Powered by  - Designed with the Hueman theme. But it isn't technically the mans job to support a woman. A good man who loves you would be happy to support you in your times of need, it would be one way of showing his love. Join Yahoo Answers and get 100 points today. I have convinced my husband that we need counseling and he is willing, but nervous, about going. I think marriage is a partnership with equal responsibilties. The reason I say that is because although years ago, a husband was legally obligated to support his wife, the laws on this issue have changed because of the women's liberation movement and women wanting to be on equal footing with men. An ex can NEVER go after the new spouse’s income to pay child support. Man's Letter To Wife Calculates How Much Stay-At-Home Moms Should Earn. That is what my husband and I chose to do, but we wanted a large family (8 kids). It means much more than that. It is impossible to completely deal with the responsibilities of the husband in such a short article. Why guys are willing to support their wife financially? I did encourage him to get his masters, get national board certified, or get a side job (like tutoring in the summer) after the kids were born to no avail. That is how I am now working overtime; something I never ever would have imagined. Rather than submissively cooperating with his wife's decision to put her feminism ahead of her family, a man should offer some guidance. I always intended to stay at home with my kids (working very part-time if necessary) just like my mom and his mom did. For example: When I express my frustration it just defeats him instead of energizing him into action. I have a good professional degree in healthcare but it is exhausting and I have been burnt out for quite some time. When a man commits his love and his time to a woman, there are no stipulations or circumstances required. By Gillian Fuller. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church . Yes, that’s right – nothing. Now, both spouses work and earn and men don't believe they should have to support their wives if she is earning her own money. God has mad man strong for a reason, to shoulder the heavy burdens and stresses of life, and shield his wife and his children as much as possible. Take Care of Your Wife by Providing for Her. There will be challenges and unexpected situations that arise. Yes I agree totally-It is the man's responsiblity to support his wife-kids what ever, he is the man of the house. But, understand that if you are the chief wage earner, if you are the most stingy tightwad, your significant other cannot take you to court. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and shal.1 be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh". There will be good times and there will be not-so-good times. Still have questions? According to a survey described in a 2011 article, Is Your Partner Cheating on You Financially? When you get married, you are no longer individuals but a team. He has a job; he is a high school teacher. Think on that one for a bit. She instead spent four times that much. Both should counsel together when planning a budget, analyzing expenses, making priorities together, and once the budget is set, there should be very specific responsibilities outlined, like who's responsible to pay bills on time. I actually chose this career because I knew I could work one or two hours per day and be payed well. And the more support a mother has the better. A man who truly loves his wife will be a man who labors diligently to provide for his wife. I truly feel unloved. Seems all you see with him is dollar … If you love your spouse, you'd make her financially independent. Get your answers by asking now. A man’s responsibility in this sense is inexorably linked to that of the woman’s in a Muslim marriage. You; on the other hand, are obligated to be responsible for your own money and make smart choices without depending on someone else to help you make it. The same is true in the opposite direction: if a man is fulfilling all his rights to his wife but she is denying him his, he still has to provide for her even if she is not providing for him. A. Angie last edited by . If you have kids and the wife stays home, then it would be the responsibilty of the husband to provide. As I began writing this guide to the top 10 things every husband should do for his wife, I realized that many of those tips are reversible to the wife’s role, as well. GodBless. It doesn't say love , honor and financially support your wife in the marriage vows. One Christian Dad © 2020. PLEASE help me with some advice on this and thank you, thank you, thank you for posting this! The fact a husband may be resentful of his SAHM wife getting a pricey massage on rare occasions or that a wife may resent having to defend this decision is probably something that needs to be hashed out with good communication. This may not just be about knowing how should a husband treat his wife, but about a happy strong successful marriage. But, understand that if you are the chief wage earner, if you are the most stingy tightwad, your significant other cannot … If the husband is a humble shopkeeper while the wife is a doctor, the husband still has the technical responsibility to support the household on his own. He said he didn’t want to worry me and “we just didn’t have the money.” Then a couple years ago he wasn’t paying the quarterly taxes and I found out when they (~$10,000) were due. But he will stay by your side and be your teammate through it all. If your spouse won't give you enough money during the marriage, I don't know of a court or agency in the land that will help you out and make them fork over more money to you. He let our credit card debt grow over $25,000 and did not tell me. Reply Link. The husband is obliged to spend upon his family, upon his wife and children, on a reasonable basis, even if the wife is rich. However, that doesn't mean that a wife can sit around the house all day and expect the man to slave for her while she relaxes. Link; Cassie May 26, 2015, 5:41 pm (I hate when people use ‘DH’). This isn’t something that ought to be exploited, but rather an extra factor that a man should be considerate of in his treatment of his wife. But raising children is a job. Reply Quote. It is a personal decision between man and wife. The loving husband will be a hard working husband.This doesn’t mean that he will make lots of money; but it does mean that his priority is to “provide for his own” (1 Tim. We recognize it when OTHER people do it but for some reason when it's a wife it doesn't count. Wth . This topic has been deleted. We want to encourage and equip you. Imagine being a grown adult still living at home with your parents. So, wives, take note! I think you really need to re-evaluate your priorities with this man and your expectations. It is always a good thing to have certain individuality when it comes to finances, but having transparency about your financial … April 6, 2015 . So unless he cheated on her and left her in a dire situation, he shouldn’t have hid something that important from her and paid his ex’s mortgage. In order to do this, he must recognize that there are other currencies, in addition to money, that need to be provided. Also, if you have children, she should return to work after more or less 6 months (or the maternity leave duration). Depends on the couple. its a man responsibility to support his family to include his wife. I evicted my son and he ended up moving even bought a trailer to take with his pickup truck he moved now the police come looking for him.? . A responsible man should know when to assist his wife financially. No... not at all . What to expect What to expect No matter how feminist a man may be, it does something to his self-esteem to depend on his girlfriend for financial support. "Very often, it's a man whose entire self worth is wrapped up in his net worth," he says. Women should contribute 50/50 or one half of their money (50%). My husband know this. Depending on someone for money is a terrible feeling. Have a Heart to Heart with Your Financially Irresponsible Spouse. I have a separate account for my work expenses, an IRA, and taxes now. When I happened to open the bill one day I was sick. 5:8). Yes, in a marriage, a man is supposed to financially support his wife. Probably not. Would the ex wife do the same for him and his new wife? Answered February 12, 2020 No, you shouldn’t support her financially. A generation ago, the man was the undisputed head of the household; he worked and brought home the bacon while the wife took care of the house and later, the children. I filed a complaint at the family court (counseling), after which it was decided that we would stay together and he would support me financially. yes it is to a point..a few years ago my husband worked two jobs while i stayed home, and took care of our infant son..i felt it was his responsiblity then because i wanted to stay home with the baby, but the baby got old enough i went back to work, and he quit one of the jobs..today i make more money then him, so i is now my responsiblity to financially support my husband, and i don't mind at all. Some wives prefer to stay home and raise children, others don't. This woman felt she had been financially mistreated earlier in her life and overspent to get revenge on those who mistreated her—even though the husband believed he was treating her very fairly. A man who makes no effort to provide for his family cannot rightly call himself a Christian. And he would be less offended if you asked him for money, especially if he wasn't quite sure whether or not he should jump in and offer his help. All Rights Reserved. This is why I said in a previous post, that one of the many responsibilities God has given to husbands is to know their wives – meaning to know her hopes and fears, what bothers her, what stresses her out and do our best to help in these areas. Today woman can work at any job and they are the majority in colleges, so she should earn her own money. 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"The Prophet of Allah (S) stated: 'Man is the guardian of his family and every guardian has responsibilities towards those under his guardianship'." I think I really upset people the most when I used the phrases "be a man" and "put your foot down." I feel forced to work and I have slowly had to add more and more hours due to his financial irresponsibility. Ultimately, you will have to do what is in your heart. How do you think about the answers? This means you’ll need to sit your spouse down and be as open and honest as possible. .. jk- I’m feeling way too silly today. Men should also contribute 50/50 (50%)...meaning that both men and women contribute at least some form of money. If you don't truly love your spouse, then you'd make her depend on you for all her financial needs. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. So, for example, a husband might discourage his wife from starting a business or going to law school. 1. In the beginning I tried my very best to be a “non-nagging” spouse and support his career. You become stakeholders in the household, and share the effort of maintaining and improving it. The husband is obliged to spend, and that includes cases where the wife is a teacher, and it has been stipulated that the husband allow her to continue teaching. Most men believe marriage is just a means for women to get paid, but most men don't really see what women go through, the sacrifces they make for their husbands. You either accept things as they are and continue to support him, or give him an ultimatum to get a job and be a man and support his family as Allah intended. The right to financial support When someone says that a man should be a good provider, what they invariably mean is that he should have a good job that earns a steady income, one which enables him to provide food, shelter, and the nice things in life to his family. I am crying out to God right now to protect me from myself and to convict him. Women should have the opportunity to work and should have equal respect. 6. 31% Admit Money Deception by Jenna Goudreau... "Over half of all financial cheaters admitted hiding cash (58%) or minor purchases (54%). Published November 7, 2012. Once you’re married and you see your spouse is financially irresponsible, it’s important to nip it in the bud as soon as possible. Wife cheated and i caught her red handed.? Financially supporting your man? Providing for your family includes being aware of what is going on with the money, and making sure there is provision for food, rent/ mortgage and so on. Not even if she is rich or is working. We all know that sometimes men need to be told what you need from them. Why he tells me his wife got stilleto nails and his baby is happy? Should a woman feel entitled to financial support from the guy she is currently in a relationship with? When you're married, you're supposed to take care of each other.... That is an issue that should be handled before marriage. . Can share? But yes the man is pose to provide every need including all bills-what ever it is-for his wife and kids. The short answer is of course she should! My DH got it as a tattoo. Example of a couple I counseled: A successful man who tightly controlled the family finances gave his wife a budget of $5,000 a month to spend as she liked. I am worried about my laptop and the rebuilding related to that . **Of course, there is an asterisk on this. NOWHERE is it written that it’s any man’s responsibility to treat his wife “like a queen.” . Get a job! The problem with our society is that it doesn't recognize domestic work as work. Should a man be allowed to divorce his wife after 24 years of marriage because he said he doesn’t love her and he never did and he wanted children and she cannot give him children he has withheld sex for over 12 years from her should he be allowed to get a divorce and he is dating someone else online right in front of her Every time my mother comes over she rearranges my house and it’s driving my husband and I NUTS!!!? You aren’t off the hook on this one. We are called women as in wife that takes care of cooking,cleaning, and what ever else and the man is pose to have a job and provide for his wife-kids of every need,no matter what it is. Not anymore, did you know that half the marriages out here have the woman as the bread winner, its a different world, ladies are well educated these days and some of them make the big bucks and their man has the easy life. Where is it written that a man must be the financially successful one? He should; as your husband, be open to helping you financially but marriage does not make him obligated. What are the possible reasons people get married too soon? Depends on the agreement made between the husband and wife. You can sign in to vote the answer. We want to talk! I was raised to believe that the man work and brought the money in to provide for the family and the wife was to stay home and be a wife and mother, if he refuses to provide and wants his wife to then he ain't a very good husband moreless role model for his children and its time to throw him out into the real world by him self. No, I don't believe that men should take all the finanacial responsiblities. We are now paying that off in monthly installments. Listen. I have honestly found myself admiring other hard working men who provide for their families and that scares the crap out me. If he’s not obligated to financially support his ex wife, her partner needs to step up and take over that obligation. It is the man who can, through his wisdom, support his family and prepare the grounds for their happiness and it is he who can turn the house into a paradise and his wife to act as an angel. I spoke to him about downsizing and selling our home to live within his salary, again to no avail.